The first child in the family undergoes interesting changes: at some point from the only one, she becomes the eldest. In addition, new responsibilities, reproaches, and inflated expectations are added. We will name the reasons why older children grow up faster.
Kiev. Ukraine. Ukraine Gate – April 01, 2021 – Lifestyle
They have known since childhood what responsibility is
Observations have shown that older children are more responsible and focused. This is because parents have high hopes for them. Parents can rely entirely on the older child, sometimes not realizing that she may be banally tired of such responsibilities. She often has to hear phrases:
“Now you’re older and should behave like an adult,” “You’re older and should help, not hinder.”
Complete control in any situation, because “you are an example for a younger child“
The older child is forced to constantly monitor their words and control their actions because the younger ones can copy their behavior. Hence increased self-control. In order not to undermine his authority and not to fall in the eyes of the younger child, the senior help with lessons. But not all children can withstand such a load – to be a constant role model. Sometimes they want to have an older brother or sister to provide support in everything.
In any incomprehensible situation, the older child becomes guilty
If children often quarrel, the elders are always to blame. Psychologists urge parents to choose a neutral position in a mature conflict so that it does not happen that one of the children remains systematically guilty and the other is saved.
The younger child is fighting, and you can’t answer her
Phrases most often uttered by parents:
“You’re older, be smarter,” “Give in to the little one.”
After hearing the younger child believes that he can do anything, you just have to want. The older one is offended, thinking that her parents ignore her desire to please the younger ones. It is very important for her that her parents love and appreciate her for her patience.
He thinks that the younger child is loved more
It happens that parents choose their pet and punish someone more severely, someone more leniently. One child is praised for his advantages and successes, and the other is constantly ignored. Because of this, children can have a tense relationship if the child thinks that they love someone less.
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Source: Ukrgate